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Tuesday, June 10, 2003

City Girl ~ Tegan and Sara

i cried so hard that you pushed me further away
i screamed so loud you called the police on me
i got so city girl on you
i get so sad that sad gets to be
so scared that all my feelings, they up and leave... me
i got so city girl on you
i go so crazy i don't know what to do
i look so long i get obvious
i look so hard i look obvious
i work so much i miss the sunshine away
i sleep so little watch the stars fade into day
i get so city girl on you
i go so crazy i don't know what to do
i get uncertain promise i'll be perfect from now on
but all my promises they're out the window once you're gone
you pack your bags you say
i love you but i cannot stay
so i started smoking thought the signals
would scare your walls away
i got so city girl on you
i went so crazy i didn't know what to do
i got so city girl on you
i went so crazy i didn't know what to do
i cried so hard that you pushed me further away
i screamed so loud you called the police on me
you pack your bags you say
i love you but i cannot stay
so i started smoking thought the signals
would scare your walls away
i got so city girl on you
i went so crazy i didn't know what to do
i got so city girl on you

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:25 PM

Monday, June 09, 2003

ugh..I just got done talking to kyle..and I'm like crying right now... I feel so horrible for not believing the stuff he said the first time, But i'm just so damn skeptical when it comes to all of THIS stuff....And by this stuff I mean car accidents, and what really did happen, and what people exaggerate... I believe him now... I guess I have to realize people talk about it alot, to get it out.. I should know, i've been through some shit in my life, and I think I talked about it so much, I lost friends because of it....Some people tend to exaggerate to get attention, and I guess because people did that in the accident with my bro, I take offense to it... Like i'm utterly sensitive to the entire situation-and it's so stupid that im like that... But kyle, im sorry for not believe you about all the details at first... I'm so happy your okay... After talking to you, I realized how much.. I don't know... Just I realized you went through some crazy shit..and I'm sorry.... I'm just so happy your okay..and yes, darrin too.... Consider yourself lucky, and learn from this experience.. Your strong, you'll get through this....It just takes time...

I just got so emotional, I felt like writting in here... It brings back alot of memories from my brother dying and stuff... it really does... I can't even listen to details about kyle's accident, it just makes me cringe.... Car's aren't toys... They're big-humungous lethal weapons, under your ass, and in your control..And once in a while, control is lost..and people get hurt... or die.... I mean, when I first started driving, I couldn't even back out of my own drive-way I was so scared.... It get's easier I guess... But you have to trust yourself, Everyone else on the road around you, and if your a passenger, The driver.... It's also crazy-ironic how Bryant got in a car accident, like the night before kyle's too... I guess he broke his arm really bad, had to get surgery..some plates and like 200 stitches... : / Dammit people.... Drive safer :( I don't think your going to want to go on a fatal CARnival ride because of stupidity, or just because of accidents that could have been avoided....

Alright, felt like bitching.. i feel better now I spose..... BLAH....

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 7:43 PM

I want a pet penguin :(

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 7:22 PM

Hrmm.. I woke up at 5:45 this morning... Its so weird... I don't know why.. I think I had a fever or something, I was sweating really bad... Yesterday morning I woke up at 5:30 as well, because my stomach hurt so bad.... Early mornings suck, but I like time in the morning so whatever....Lemme see.. Yesterday I choppidy my hair... I got 7 inches taken off.. SeVeN!!! thats a whole lotta hair.. i didn't even know I had that much...I'm kind of in shock still... But its okay, hair is hair, and it always grows..Even if it does take another 2-3 years to get it long again... :P I played pool yesterday with josh and shuana, and I really just shouldn't be allowed to handle a pool stick.. I suck so bad... it was basically my first time playing, so i guess I was ALLOWED to suck, but they kicked my ass like there was no tomorrow...*sigh* I dont want to go to school :( I wish this was still the weekend... God, I hate school.. Only 3 more days.. and then like 9 locals and regents.... It's almost done and then I get 2 months worth of break...(not enough, but it'll do)... Alright time for schools I spose... Ta Ta all you blog readers...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 6:36 AM

Sunday, June 08, 2003

The days turn faster with each wind of the season,
And my life gets older and more confusing with every breath I inhale.
People walk in and out of my life like the opening and closing of a door.
Sometimes the door becomes locked, and a wall is built over it.
Then I'm thrown to the side like an old doll that lost her head.
Love seems to have no meaning anymore- No real truth.
Life is a huge leviathan game - a game of poker trapped inside of a huge maze,
And No turn can ever be an easy one.
Trust hardly even exists with paranoia, and heartbreak-
The engulfs all normalcy—
It becomes so un-normal, it actually IS normal.
Immunity that is built around polluted innocence-
There comes a Rock solid shield that looks like protection—
But In all reality it’s only another fallacious illusion.
Faltering hope that such a thing as love is real.
Like all my dreams are stuck in a storybook that I can’t even read,
And nothing I do will matter, because my significance has no meaning.
So I’ll continue to walk cold streets with strangers that stare—
Searching for more of a meaning to the fast passing days—
And I’ll keep looking a little harder in the ‘all too real’ mirrors--
For what is really behind my bewildered hazel eyes…
I’ll continue to search for an easier logic,
To the thing that confuses me the most...
...Me...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 1:48 AM