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Thursday, April 17, 2003

some more pics of..YESTERDAY....*cough*cough*

funt times fun times ;-)

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 10:22 PM

Yeah so how does it feel?

"Blue Monday"-Orgy

How does it feel to treat me like you do
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are
I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me
How do I feel tell me now
How do I feel

How does it feel?
How should I feel?
Tell me how does it feel?
To treat me like you do

Those who came before me
Lived through their vocations
From the past until completion
They'll turn away no more
And I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today

I see ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortunes
I'd be a heavenly person today
And I thought I was mistaken
And I thought I heard you speak
Tell me now
How should I feel
Now I stand here waiting...
I thought I told you to leave me
While I walked down to the beach
Tell me how does it feel
when your heart grows cold

How does it feel?
How should I feel?
Tell me how does it feel?
To treat me like you do

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 6:54 PM

Oh lord..what an interesting couple of days this has been..Honestly, They've been fun..But the consequence of them..is not gonna be fun :( I got my car taken away...Diane is gonna sell it...And I almost didn't get to go to Boston..But because the tickets are non-refundable my dad let me..But no NYC... and Mel got grounded for the rest of the school year...Not to mention we BOTH get ISS.. *cough* Note to self :Next time I skip..Plan it out more carefully..
I think its gonna be a WHILE before I skip school again.....I shoulda trusted my instinct of.. "Something bad is going to happen, I don't think I should do it..." but wth, it was only ONE day...The first time any of us had done anything like that...and well we had fun....I think parents over-react.. I mean, THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR MEL IS GROUNDED...for ONE day of skipping school.. -_-...Jesus christ, Nazi mothers suck ass..

ahh..Im in a mad hurry to get all my shit together for boston..I'm leaving tomorrow...And I've barely started packing..Oh well, im a fast packer because of all the time's i've gone to my moms.. I over pack tho, which is a bad thing...for like 2 days I'll pack stuff for a week.. I like VARIETY... but *shrug* w/e... Im psyched...Kinda-nervous.. but definitly more excited.. And I can't wait to see my Kels! ^_^ it's gonna be a crazy 6 days!! :)

Tues night-Young Life..So see, I got a splinter..And mel's was gettin it out for me..and Jordie took a picture, so I made a pouty face..Even tho it came out more evil.. *shrugs*

Jordie and Mels...Two of the goodest friends ever ;-)

Btw-These were taken with jord's digi cam..And well..It brings out too much color in people's faces.. it makes people look odd....Her digi cam is evil to me especially! :(

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 6:35 PM

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Woo school is great......Yeah so so so sosooooo wonderful ;-) ..well at least tomorrow is our last day until the spring break...ONE MOREEEEE!!!! w00t w00t.. No one is here today...Seriously..Rachel isnt here cuz Oliver is gettin his nuts chopped off, and all the other annoying kids arent here cuz of a field trip or something...

I really need to get more sleep at night.. last night i went to bed @ 3:00 and the night before that it was 2:30.. oh well, I do it, its my fault... It just becomes something that im used to after a while..I suck the life out of everyday, because once I go to sleep...I have to start the same routine over again in the AM that I hate....From the time I wake up in the morning..All i wanna do is go home...it's my goal throughout the day, and it's basically all that does get me through every day....

Anyways.. o_O...uhh this is kind-of boring so im going to go walk around with mels maybe....

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:39 AM

Sunday, April 13, 2003

Ahh my computer is being slow tonight...eh, oh well...ahh today...THIS WEEKEND..has been an odd one.. LoL...
So I went to my moms for once last night until earlier today..Just cuz I felt I owed it to her.. And..I do miss her......yeah anyways..I came home and tonight I went to the friendly's in ithaca with mel..We really shouldn't go to public places.. LOL.. like quiet resturants... We are seriously such freaks, its incredibly GREAT... But we have such a habit of being really obnoctious and laughing and making noises, and being loud..We forget to NOT do it... god...we laughed so hard at one point we were both just sittin there for like 2 minutes straight laughing really hard, but not making a noise..just laughing and breathing funny, and like covering our faces AND crying.....People probably thought we were nuts.. but omg it's great...LOL..IT makes me laugh just thinking about it now...we are the Freaks of Freaks..Oh and mel cut her hair..yep its chopped..so she went from purple and shorter, to blue..and then to greenish-mix to SHORT.. but it looks so fucking hott..We were just talking about her hair for like 20 minutes...maybe more....yeah so...That was my excitement for the day...and as usual, I am just waiting for the time when i have to go to bed..Because thats what I do at night.. I go to school..I come home..i don't do anything....I go to bed..and then I wake up in the morning and do it all over again..w00t..
I wonder if shannon moved... :/ I feel so so so bad for her..The poor girl has a nazi for a mom..a SHANNON nazi...its so unfair..@!#!@$^%$#@^

ahh im feeling really..emotional about my friends tonight..Like how much I really do love them and how much they make my life so much better...Like everyone..Especially my girls- Mel, Rachel, Jordan, Katie, Kelley,Annie,Ames....Ahh....I just really love them..:) And all my other wonderous friends out there, I love you too!! *sigh*

good thing about this week is only 3 days of school.. ^_^

ANd then and then AND THEN..Friday I leave for Boston!! ^_^ w00t w00t...Im kind-of nervous about riding the bus all by my lonesome and blah blah..I have this anxiety thing where i don't like to do things by myself.. I feel like im gonna mess up, somehow..and just do something wrong...I've been like that for the past few years... but eh...
Im even more psyched for NYC with mel,anne, and jord...my spring vacation is gonna kick some major booTay...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:49 PM

Wow...Its so crazy how much thought people put into things when they get older..It's like nothing can just be EASY anymore...We have to think about everything we do...Always trying to the best of our own thought...Because we're not little kids anymore we cant let mommy or daddy decide everything for us anymore...And it sucks...I don't know..In a way, yeah I like growing up and all that shit.. but then...Everything is just so fucking hard...Just so incredibly hard.. and im so sick of it..I really miss my old life..last night I was listening to the radio and this song by nelly furtado came on..and I remember Jordan singing that at the spencer picnic of 01..we were making those funnel cake things for volleyball.. Things were good then.. Really good...The weekend before my brother died..Everything was good..Its just so amazing how fast everything can change..How fast everything can go to hell.... I really miss him..I miss the life I had before he died..Sure. things werent Perfect..But they it was alot easier then what im living now....After He died..It was a real reality check..It made me realize ALOT of things...it was the worst pain i've ever felt...and..it messed with my life forever....It made me question my faith, my life, the world..EVERYTHING..I mean before he died i was just getting into god again..And after he died..I said fuck it all...Not because of the normal "well he took my brother so i hate him.." no..It was more of like..."I don't understand where the hell he WENT! how can someone be here one day, and gone the next.." so..i'm now agnostic..and I probably will be until another "reality check" comes along and makes me see something else...
I hate myself for thinking everything is so bad all the tiime, because I know it could be so much worse.. I know I have it alot better than alot of other people..But its still my life, and it's still all I know....
I don't know..its just been bothering me alot lately..I really want to be happy for like a month straight....Just a month...Im so sick of worrying about school, friends, guys, 'love', money,myself....I used to get good grades....uhh now, I dont...I was never that smart anyways... god..I was so stupid...I think about when melody tells me about how she was when she was little and how i was compared to her..And im just like.. "wow.. i was really stupid.." It took me a while to grow up...and im still not even....totally mature...I think...I dont know.... Im sick of putting so much emotion and thought into things that have no significance to anyone else but myself...to things that don't even matter... it takes alot out of someone....

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 2:14 PM