+PsYcHo-BaBbLe+

+PsYcHo-
BaBbLe+

"Theres more than one way to say the things you mean to say"

Flogs:

Cool Links:

Archives:

-- HOME --

Saturday, February 22, 2003

aww this is like..THE SWEETEST THING..EVER!! Rachel just wrote me a SCHNAZY-WONDERFUL-SUPERFIC POEM..called...

~My BabyCakes~

Babycakes is her code name,
Making me laugh is her game!
Always is she there, right by my side,
Just giving me a NATURAL high.
Her funny chipmonk voice is all I need-
To forget my problems and make me feel free!
I love her laugh, Melissa tries to imitate it, does she succeed?
NO WAY!
She's just a pen girl, waiting for a guy to steal her away.
I love it how it gives her such pleasure to snap bra straps,
And how she chuckles back with pride!
I love her because, her feelings-
She never hides.
Drinking Mt. Dew till we're drunk,
And laughing until her dad thinks we're high,
Thats the fun I have with her.
Never does a dull momment go by.
Little chacolate covered raisons-
Little Golden Crisps-
To us have secret meanings.
We're sisters, we have the same feelings.
I love her so much, I'm so glad she's in me life!
We've been friends since 6th grade,
We've had some rocky times,
But we have gurl power, we will never fade!
She's my LiL Krispi, the sweetest of them all!
I know she's here for me, she'll catch me when I fall.
Mr. Elf, our bestest LiL friend.
Oh how I cant wait till we see him again!
I love you gurl!
With all my heart!
I knew we were gonna be best friends from the start!
Whenever you need me,
Dont be afraid to call,
Cus like you did I'll catch you when you fall.
This friendship means everything to me,
Never gonna grow apart again, thats just the way its gonna be.
Babycakes and Hottcakes are back,
They're in the house,
And we AINT goin no where!
I LOVE YA GURL!

Shes the bestest...Rachel babe..You know I love you!!! and we're gonna be having crumplets and tea in no time..and discussing our "allmighty elf" adventure, and making brand spanking new-babycakes and hottcakes- Memories!!! I've missed ya girl!! :)
*happy tears*

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:57 PM

ha... well...look @ that..I wrote a huge blog and when i went to post it, it deleted it!! :( That just bunches my panties RIGHT UP!! But it doesnt ruin my good night...yeah, thats right I said GOOD night!!! LoL like -baby-butt ultra-smoothyness-good!!! LoL.. well I got to go to Darrins after all...And his mommy wasnt there, so I left before she even GOT HOME...Therefore, She didnt know and WONT know that I was there when no one else was, and Darrin OR I wont get in trouble!! XD!! mwahahah Sneaky lil Krispi I am, I am!! XD mwahahahah!!! But yesh, tonight is just GOOD.... Good, good, good... Good is the word of the night, and it feels So... good to say good, I think I'll just say it again.. GOOD!!! w00t!! w00t is a schnazy word as well!! LoL okay, more reasons of why tonight was so good..;-) I came here to my mommies and I was talking to Rachel..and things were all Superific!!! :D we were talking like old times man!! it was great!! Its like the hottcakes and babycakes vibe is back alive!! w00t! I think everything is going to be okay...It was just rocky times...but GOOD times are ahead...fun times!! :D w00t..."BABYCAKES AND HOTTCAKES ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!! Hell FuCkInG YEA!!!" :D ~CrUmPleTs~ rachel is my "hunka hunka burning love! ;-)"
Princess78884873: i'm actin tottaly re-turd-ed
Hellz Yeah, she's just awsome..I dunno what was with us both before...but I think things are gonna be okie!! :D YeY!! I've missed my dear hottcakes!!!

MmMm Code red is...nummy..and hypery...hyperrr....

Oh yesh I got to talk to levis tonight..Talking to levis is always great cuz he's the best cuz in the world, and i've missed him...

I don't know why....but im unusually happy tonight...I wish I could be this way all the time...

.:*w00t*:.

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:42 PM

Im in a really bad mood today...-_- I wanted to see Darrin, but my dad hasn't been here @ all this morning-afternoon and I have no fucking clue where he is.. He could be at work, but does he leave me a note SAYING he went to work? NO! so that ruins my entire fucking day....Not to mention all we have to eat here is junk food and to drink is soda, and I feel like a huge huge huge blimp.... Maybe I shouldnt FEEL that way, because I AM....-_- whatever...Heres a LOVELY song by...uhh.. i dont remember.. I think its No Doubt-Beauty Contest...

Damsel N distress is quite submissive
Look how somber my vanity is
A feminine human creature
Superficial seducing detour
Im going to the mall 4 the cookie cutter
The ugly duckling will always suffer
Contaminated standards I try 2 fight it
I better get back on my diet
Obsessed with the beauty contest
Howd my vanity get such a mess?
Beauty contest Im obsessed
Reduce myself I got the strict restrictions
Not sexy enough without the regulations
A melting point countdown the fading features
Born 2 blossom and bloom 2 perish

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 2:33 PM

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Yes..I am at school right now, and let me tell you IM HAVING FUN! >.< ha, RIIIGHT!!! I was really lazy this morning... I said at first that I wasnt gonna take a shower, and then I did when it was like 7:10 just cuz I felt all gross...Good thing for me diane was running late, so we got to leave later, and I had enough time to get ready..Even though I still look and feel like a lazy peice of crap.. w00t... *sigh* I don't want to be here today..I didn't do any of my hw last night, which was mainly just to read a long ass chapter- and then write 4 quiestions...As you can tell im bored..I have study hall right now from 8:15 to like 9:40 something... its a block..UGH..Actually I like these lovely lil do-nothing blocks where I can just sit here and babble as much as I want...*humph*...Not much going on here though...I seriously feel like shit.. >.< ergh... Me gonna go now....Ta ta for now...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 8:35 AM

humph...I've been really tired tonight, and i dunno why..I took a nap from 5:30 till like 8 something.. and I'm still all..blah....I was thinking about how much my school life and my home life are so so different..School bites, but @ the same time, I guess there are it's perks..Like seeing my friends, and being able to socialize..Sittin here @ home is just starting to depress me considering im alone like all the time with nothing more but a TV, Telephone, and computer....*sigh* I promised my dad I would get my permit on friday, so i guess im gonna hafta...I really want to drive, but @ the same time im so so lazy, and scared.. :-/ I can hardly do go karting with out freaking out, Im really scared of driving for some reason..I dunno, its so...dangerous...:-/
I really miss Darrin tonight.. :( I feel like im 1646153123103919237164575329183 Miles away from him :( Eh I gotta see him!!! >.< It sucks that we dont live closer to each other, only like 1/2 hour from here, 15 mins from my moms... but stillllll... I miss him!! :( *Cries* I want my Darrin DAMMIT!!!
I really should go to bed.. :-P eh I guess I will, time will pass so fast while im asleep, and i'll hafta drag my ass outta bed in the AM to go to school...yippie-skippie--Its the same routine everyday..Doesn't it get old for anyone else?? EH gnight...

Someone asked me tonight, why people like to have sex so much....Or something along those lines..what do YOU think!? ;-) *Wink-Wink*

.:*MaKe LoVe, NoT WaR*:.

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 12:38 AM

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

ahh only a few more minutes before I can go home, okay more like 10-15..But still.. im kinda bored outta my mind...Today is a weird-funky day..And im in a "eh" mood...I feel bad for last night cuz I was all bitchy to darrin, as normal...if I dont watch myself, im gonna lose him, cuz he's gonna get so fed up with me acting all bitchy and pissy all the time...He's the best boy friend as it is for putting up with me THIS LONG...Jordan is "Sick" today.. LoL....Hmm...I dont know..Im like trying not to get caught being on here, cuz i dont know what she'd do if she caught on me on here again, after she told me not to be.. blashddashdajbads..
ANYWHO...I need to redye my hair soon..Black again? Probably..Just because its the easiest option right now...Im not ready to strip my hair and damage it that much just yet....I wish things between me and rachel could be the way they used to be, even though I know it never will...she'll always be one of my best friends @ heart..but I guess people just change and grow apart..I still have lots of fun with her, when I do get the chance to hang out with her.....damn, I hate how things always have to change so much!! but whether we want them to change or not, we really dont have control over the natural things that just go *POOF* and change...im so sosososososos bored right now....im like spazing out on the keyboard right now, when i type fast, i type loud, and it sounds like im beating the keys..uhh yeah ive only had like ONE mountain dew today and im like beyond hyper..w00t w00t w00t! hypa-Hypa!! that reminds me of a song by SCOOTER called..well u guess it HYPER!! ahahahhaah..okay and because i am so hyper right now i really should just stop writting on this blog cuz well its not gettin me anywheres, and yeah im leaving now.. going..oww my leg hurts.. and NOW im going..Toodles! askhdasugd! ;-)

HYPA HYPA!!!! hehe - chilli bowl-

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 2:41 PM

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

Ever feel like, Even when your really close to someone, almost best of friends...Your still competing for things?? Still trying to be prettier, and etc...?? And this is for something thas been going on with me lately with a friend...Its an old poem, but it gets the point across..

Inferior to you I am.
With shamefull feelings that arise in my head.
Your being I can not help but envy and adore.
Burning jealousy starts to blind me even more.

Good friends we claim to be
But another side screams enemy
Competitors of Society,
Limited trust full of hypocrisy.

Playing friendship like a game
The stinging uncertainty releases pain.
Crimson red blocks my view,
Clinging memories make a depressing brew.

Good friends we claim to be
But another side screams enemy
Competitors of Society
Limited trust full of hypocrisy.

Glances of want we exchange,
For entirely different reasons,and a distant range.
The Complex reasons and the simple meanings,
We kill each other with doubts and cheatings.

Good friends we claim to be
But another side screams enemy
Competitors of Society
Limited trust full of hypocrisy.

Pride sweeps truth under the rug,
Causes confusion, and laughs with a deceitful smug.
Leaves people wounded, and full of a dangerous loss.
Things once so simple, Turn to chaos.

Good friends we claim to be
But another side screams enemy
Competitors of Society
Limited trust full of hypocrisy.

Friend, Foe, or Enemy?
It's hard to tell when this world is blinded by jealousy.
Everything is a competition.
Even friendships seem to turn to the miscontrued invision.

Good friends we claim to be
But another side screams enemy
Competitors of Society
Limited trust full of hypocrisy.

Inferior to you I am,

Competitors of Society We Forever Stand.

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:34 PM

Today was..SHITTY.. absolutely horrible.. I mean, sure it COULD have been worse..But it was still pretty damn bad...I guess I now know what im allergic to..Benzyol Peroxide..Go figure..I mean its not the first freakin times i've used stuff with that in it.. But last night I had an allergic reaction to something else again...Woke up this morning and looked into the mirror..And be-fucking-hold, I once again see a tomato with eyes staring back @ me...Therefore I didn't go to school today...My face was bright red, swollen, itchy and burny...still is, but not AS bad...*sigh*..Today was Jared's bday...And I don't know how I felt about that exactly...It's still hard to believe he died more than a year ago...It's like now that he's dead, he doesnt even matter...Like everyone just forgot about him..No one even mentioned today that it was his bday..Not my dad, or my mom or anyone...I don't think anyone even went to his grave..It fucking pisses me off!!! HE SHOULDNT HAVE DIED!!! And then the kid that killed him gets away scott free, and actually BELIEVES he didn't do anything wrong...He's like living in an alternate reality..thinkin he was some big hero..Well buddy, let me tell you..YOU WERE STUPID! NOT a hero...Okay im not gonna get into that...cuz It really doesn't matter anymore..Whats done is done...It just makes me realize how easily and fast people's lives can just be taken away...I hate it when someone says that they hate their mom or their dad, or etc..Because well..be happy they're here...Once they're gone..They're gone, THEYRE NOT GOING to come back...Even if you can't get along with them or anything...They're still part of your life, and it changes things COMPLETELY...I don't know...Im really..I don't fucking know..In a "bad spot" tonight..Lately I've been really pissy and bitchy towards like EVERYONE.. I've even been bitchy towards Darrin..I can't even talk to him on the phone lately without gettin pissed off at something stupid...Im irratable ALL THE TIME...EsPeCiAlLy at home... I can't stand having anyone around me making noise..or even in the same room that im in.. I like to be left alone when im at home...I don't know..Lately I've just had enough of everything....I think im going to go vegatarian again..I hate eating meat...Its sad...I just hate killing things...Even trees...People use wood for the dumbest things..While we're here picking stuff out of our teeth with tooth picks, theyre cutting down half the rain forest so they can GET tooth picks, and make more room for "living"...The only reason i'm eating meat right now is because it make life EASIER...I got shit from EVERYONE when i went all vegi when i was 12, and then I got sick cuz of not getting enough protein..wtfe..Im just babbling about nothing..Today i've done NOTHING..i watched tv all day, and talked to no one...Im gettin to the point that i want to go to school just so Im not always surrounded by MYSELF and MY THOUGHTS....It gets to someone after a while...But of course when i actually WANT to go to school, and I get up and put EFFORT into going to school, Something happens to me...I even did my hw last night...dabusdbusadb1bsaufdbaudgsaudbad!!!!!!!! GRRR!!!!!! Everything is nothing...Why do I even bother anymore..?

My existance is no longer..
My essence is now dull..
Attitude turns irratable--
My decisions now so vulnerable..
Screaming, stomping-
Cutting and pounding..
None of this does any good now..
No laugh-
Nor cry..
Will ever be the same..
Everything is completely meaningless--
Staring out a cold window-
That looks upon machines made of flesh..
All working for the same reason--
Doing the same things--
Hurting the same people..
Everyone almost identical--
So bland and judgmental...
Little mice trapped inside of a huge maze...
Life has no substance, no definition-
We're all spinning---
Around the SAME wheel-
With nothing more but scenary that constantly changes...
No point-
No more given effort...
My mortality is fading away...
With nothing more but lungs that breath-
A brain full of torterous thoughts..
And loneliness that binds happiness..
What is there to give?
What will make a difference 100 years from now?...
...Nothing...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:25 PM

Monday, February 17, 2003

o...kay...tonight kind of..well yeah SUCKS....I kind of hung up on the phone with darrin, cuz his mom was yelling at him to hang up, and he didnt want to, But it doesnt count as hanging up TECHNICALLY because I told him i was gonna hang up, and I said bye...EHHHHH she allready HATES me enough, I dont want to make her hate me even MORE..Because god forbid anything that goes wrong in her household that involves DARRIN is MY FAULT.. I mean I "depress" him and make him "Act out.." And I'm just such a HORRIBLE influence to ANYONE....Im just a bad bad bad person..A depressed-suicidal-PSYCHO..Do I really Give that influence to so many?? NO! ITS ALL CLYMER'S FAULT THE LIL FUCKER!!!!!! >.< *SIGH*...Breath in..Breath out...So what if I have problems..EVERYONE Anymore has problems..everyone is depressed, or has some sort of psycho-disorder..Bi-polar...Borderline whatever..PTSS, ANXIETY PROBLEMS, or hey, theres just being DEPRESSED....It seems doctors have a stupid term for everything anymore.. whatever happened to.. "hey its JUST LIFE.." Life makes u depressed...It's the way things are..And I say medications and stupid therepists arent gonna help that much..It just makes an allready-crazy feeling person feel even MORE NUTS....-_- Im so not in a good mood tonight....Grr..Jared's bday is tomorrow...he'd be 18..yeah he WOULD be..Its hard to believe im 16..And he died @ the age of 16..I've always been a year and a half younger than him...Well..I guess he's forever frozen in time...All we have now is his memory....Im so sick of the self pitying shit..I don't pity myself anymore, I pity him..Its sad..Some people don't even get the fucking chance to LIVE life....People are slaughtered, and killed without even a thought...I HATE WAR, I HATE DEATH, I HATE THE KILLING and THE PAIN....You know I was watching animal planet tonight.. "Animal Cops.." and they take fighting dogs...Like Pittbulls and after they're "confiscated"..They just "put them out of their misery" as the lil narrator said...They euthinize them..EVEN LITTLE LITTLE CUTE CUDDLY PUPPIES.. they say this is the only way to end the dog fighting industry..MY ASS IT IS.. they're poor innocent dogs! why punish them!?!?!! EUTHINIZE THE PERSON WHO MADE THEM FIGHT!!!!!!!! I bet they could be trained to be half way decent...Just dont have them around OTHER Dogs..ugh..IT SICKENS ME!! i want to save them all.. all the lil puppies and kitties, and people dying, and people who are on the verge of losing theyre sanity....I want to help people..Im sick of everyone being in pain, IM SICK OF BEING IN PAIN...Eh... oh well...okay im done here i guess..I doubt I'm even making much sense.. so whatever...
Kick ass lyric of the day by Shakira-Objection:
"Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal..That's why in front of your eyes im invisible..BUT YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT SMALL THINGS ALSO COUNT!!"
Yeah damn Skippy...Lesson here is.....*cough* us NOT so LUCKY breasted chicks COUNT TOO!!!!!! ;-)

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 11:48 PM

Wow..hmm..today really...sucks...Its all snowy, and boring, and lonely...Movies where really nice pretty people die always make me cry.. Like I was watching "here on earth" i think it was called, and I cried so many damn times throughout that movie.. damn..Life is so..sad..could u imagine knowing that your going to die?? Like, soon? Or knowing that someone u love is going to die really soon? damn.. Life is just so fucking sad.. :( We're all so caught up with little things, we forget about the big picture...:-/

part lyrics-Creed-Who's got my back?.

Who's got my back now?
When all we have left is deceptive
So disconnected
So what is the truth now?

There's still time
All that has been devastated
Can be recreated
Realize
We pick up the broken pieces
Of our lives
Giving ourselves to each other...ourselves to each other
To rest our head on

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 3:26 PM

Eh im so lazy, that I hardly write in here anymore.. but im trying to do it at least once a day...Wow..Right now i am tired and bitchy, and arguing with like..everyone...Why do I have to be this way?? i swear...yeah so im a fucking bitch..Fucking deal with it!! Sure I've got problems, but don't we all?? I'm ugly, Im bitchy, I've got a bad attitude, and im stupid...Yeah i guess its official..Life FUCKING SUCKS and I dont know about the rest of you, But I've about HAD IT!!! UGh..I cant deal with myself anymore...I can't deal with my insecurities....EVERYONE HATES WHO THEY ARE THESE DAYS....No one can look in the mirror and say "damn im hott.." or "wow I look really nice.." Its ALWAYS "DAMN IM SO FAT!!" or "WOW CAN WE SAY IN-NEED-OF-PLASTIC-SURGERY!?" yeah....Im sick of it, but @ the same time its like what I automatically think...I look in the mirror, and see something hideous and ugly staring back @ me...Every blemish, every split end, every POUND, and every INCH of my skin I look @ in horror and disgust...I can't even go along with something good, even WHEN I KNOW I HAVE IT..lets take..DARRIN for example..Right? yeah I know he loves me, I love him.. and etc etc etc.... But does that keep me from having these stupid insecurities and worrying every second of losing him to someone more attractive physically AND mentally then myself? NO!! God..Im soooo SICK OF IT!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MANY FUCKING INSECURITIES!!!!!! THEYRE DRIVING ME FUCKING INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even pretty pretty skinny-almost bone people will look in the mirror and still see some HUGE hippo looking back @ them...Its sick...SOCIETY IS SICK...THIS WORLD SHOULD DIE..If there is a god...Jesus what the fuck ever, I think this is the end, and he needs to blow that golden horn soon before the devil completely takes over this mad world...SERIOUSLY..."Hey God, if your up there....remember me? Or have u forgotten about me too??"...Fuck god..Maybe I'll believe in the cute fat buddha with the cute pot belly..He's cute..Worth worshipping....Or maybe I'll just stick to MY philosophy of how much life sucks, and continue to be eternally clueless about life,death... and everything around it....I want to just be happy with who I am, be able to look @ myself, and my life and say.."hey..I like that.."..Maybe even smile...Instead of thriving off from the few things that make me happy...I need to start valuing myself, but thats never going to happen until I really start BELIEVING im WORTH valuing...And as of right now I dont believe that at all.. I mean my life is pretty shitty..don't get me wrong, I know there are like 21837183718371837 times worse lives out there...But when I look @ those around me...Its like "Why can't I have that??"... good loving parents, a nice warm cozy home...Looks to die for...maybe even a GOOD personality....eh..i'll just blame my fucked up presense on my FUCKED UP past- Child hood, that always makes things easier...Maybe, because of my one special *hero*..That one person in my life right now that actually cares about me..Maybe my fucked up future might not be so fucked up.....Eh is that fucked up enough for you? or shall I FUCK it HARDER??? whatever....too tired to continue thinking...Good FUCKING night...

posted by =*=ThE*KRisP=*= at 1:13 AM